I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
