Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
