Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
