AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
