I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
