she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize