I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
