First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He kissed a someone with a penis
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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