Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.

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(416): View more from Ontario

I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...

Fav 18 1972 4861
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(763): View more from Minnesota

My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.

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(616): View more from Michigan

what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?

Fav 29 1988 4234
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(281): View more from Texas

I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.

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(770): View more from Georgia

My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that

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(716): View more from New York

Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride

Fav 1 919 482
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(802): View more from Vermont

I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.

Fav 1 251 114
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