just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
