Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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