THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
