she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I need a beard to bite.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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