your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
