Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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