Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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