best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
