eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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