Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
