No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We need a shit load of segways right now
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
