wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
