I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
