I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
