the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
