I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
