Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you traded sex for a burrito?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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