i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
