at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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