Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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