I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
