sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
