Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
