yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
