Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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