ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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