Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Randomize
