A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
