For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
