it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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