I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
