No, you can still breathe under the balls.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I believe in your delicious
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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