I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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