so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
