Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
