capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My penis needs a shock collar
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize