Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
