Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
