and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
