winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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