Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
