I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
did i just pee glitter
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
