just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
