Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
