Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
