i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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