hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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