p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
